Ko Phangan – Why I won’t come back

Why do you travel? Is it to see the world and experience cultures different than your own? Are you open minded and willing to accept a different way of life? Maybe you travel because you want to see amazing things and experience history through 1000 year old buildings.


Do you travel to party? Maybe getting drunk on exotic beaches is your thing. Did you try to see that 1000 year old temple and say to yourself “There isn’t enough of the opposite sex in small swimming outfits! And where can I get a good hamburger!?”

I titled this article “Ko Phangan – Why I won’t come back” for several different reasons. Travel for me is something along the lines of the first paragraph. Sure I love to swim and dive in exotic waters but getting drunk and ogling at the opposite sex isn’t my cup of tea.

As I sit and write this, next to me are two younger fellas, tan as tan could be, eating toast and eggs while wearing small swim shorts and no shirts. Did I fail to mention the fifteen other similarly dressed folks who walked by with a beer in their hand? It’s not even 10am yet!

This morning I woke up early and went for a quick swim at the beach close by. There was only one other person in the water and it was awesome. I was trying to figure out why the beach was so empty. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Everyone was still in bed, sleeping off their hang over! I mean it was still VERY early, about 8am.

I’m sure some of you think that I’m starting describe a most wonderful vacation ever! I’m not. I didn’t fly half way around the planet to experience a beach town where everything is in English, almost everyone speaks English, and most of the foreigners you meet past noon are most likely already drunk. Call me crazy but I want history, I want a massive language barrier, I want to speak only in hand gestures.

These are the reasons I will probably never come to Ko Phangan again. Maybe I’m being a bit harsh. I understand that the Full Moon party is in less than a day and I also understand that is why almost all of these people are here. Deep down inside I REALLY hope that the nice lady who owns the guest house I’m staying in, is right. She claims that after the Full Moon party everything will quiet down and things will go back to normal.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it is very beautiful here. The beaches (minus last nights party left overs) are amazing and the sand is so fine, it’s like a light powder. The slightly cooler than bath water ocean can almost rock you sleep with it’s rhythmic onslaught of waves.

Some of you might be thinking. Why did I even come here in the first place during a Full Moon party? Well to explain, I didn’t know there was a Full Moon party during my 3-4 day stay here. I don’t travel with a Lonely Planet guide or any other kind of guide. I usually like to wing it and see where I end up.

The only reason I’m not running and screaming off this island is because I’m here and I might as well see what all the fuss is about. I hear the party is totally insane and I think it should be an experience to remember. I have a feeling there will be plenty of hilarity. I will not being drinking much if anything and I have a zero drug policy.